I few weeks ago -- when I was still in Oregon -- I made a costly impulse buy. I spent $144 on workout DVDs. I've been drawn in by infomercials on countless occasions -- everything from food choppers to the latest workout regime. But this time, with my dad's surprising encouragement, when they did the 14-minute countdown from the infomercial, I dialed in (via website) and made a commitment to my body.
So now we're about 2 weeks in and I sadly have noticed no change to my body. I've worked out consistently five days a week, and have been more conscious of my eating habits, and yet my clothes still haven't felt any looser. My brother (an avid runner), would tell me that it takes longer than 2 weeks to notice changes; however, the stinkin DVDs said that I'd see a change after just one week. All those testimonials are so encouraging -- of course they're made by people who fit into a size 2 and have a ton of energy, but still I expected some kind of result that would motivate me to keep working out. With the kind of money I put into these DVDs I am bound and determined to stick with it for at least 3 months. If I don't see results by then...well, I don't want to think about it.
But for now I am choosing a more optimistic conclusion: exercising is as much a state of mind as it is of body. I "feel" healthier because I exercise. I tell myself it's okay to snack every once in a while if I'm consistent with my diet every other time. I can't quite tell if my mind is more alert, but I can always tell myself that.
But then I look in the mirror, and I am brought sharply back to reality: my arms and torso are still just as chunky and under-toned as ever.
One day. One day I'll be in the single digits again. One day I'll look a little more like the girls in these silly workout DVDs. One day I'll actually be content with my body when I've assured myself that I've done all I can to be healthy.
Oh, and if you're wondering, I have killer calf muscles. Of that I can be quite proud.
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