Soccer is my dream. Literally.

I've been terrible at posting consistently, and I apologize.

Now, through very droopy eyes, I have something worth writing about. I took the position as head soccer coach for varsity/JV girls this season. I haven't felt like I belonged as a head coach this entire time and it has caused me no little amount of stress. It has gotten to the point where I've been dreaming that my soccer girls have been coming into my bedroom while I'm sleeping and we have continuous conversations about soccer. I know they aren't there. I know I am dreaming them up. But no matter how much I try to ignore these phantoms, I end up talking out loud to them. It's quite unsettling to say the least.

Thankfully, I haven't dreamt about them in well over a week, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about them all the time. It's like when I was in high school and all I could think about was my crush. It drove me to absolute distraction and I hated it. While I may not be crushing on 20 girls (let's not be perverse now), I can't help but think about everything we need to work on, whether the girls are in shape, and if I'm showing them drills that are helpful in game scenarios. Needless to say, it's a lot to think about.

So far we've had two games: the first game was against BPS and we lost 8-4, the second game against NIST we lost 5-4. NIST had previously beat BPS 10-1. I don't know how we did so much better against NIST (who is supposedly the best in the league), but the girls are persistent to say the least.

The problem is, every single day I'm battling one petty problem after another with my girls. Someone can't make practice because of this conflict, others can't make the game because of another reason. Girls are getting "injured" left and right. Girls are quitting the teams; I am left without experienced goalies on both varsity and JV squads. Students are missing equipment and uniforms. Half the time, I don't know who's coming and who's going. I'm bound to have a hernia at any moment. And this is what brings phantom soccer players into my bedroom at all hours of the night.

And then the other day I met one of the many professional soccer players here in Thailand, (honestly they are in abundance since I've met 4 already--without tracking them down). He offered to help me with my team since he's off-season at the moment. Skill-wise, I'm sure I can learn a lot from him, but in terms of motivating the team to work as a team and be self-disciplined and whatnot....sadly, I don't know what he can do for them. Fingers crossed though.

My apologies for venting about my girls. I adore them more than I can say. But sometimes they are high-maintenance and some of them don't use common sense; or shall I say, 'soccer sense'....yes, I'm laughing at my own joke.

I'm hoping after these next three games this week, my dreams will be filled with congratulatory high-fives as they come prancing through my room at 2am.