I am One With Thai Transportation

Last Friday was the night I fulfilled my goal of using all of Bangkok's modes of transportation.

So far the main mode of transportation I've utilized has been by far and away the taxi. Not as 'glamorous' as back in the States, when being able to even afford such a ride made me feel richer than a poor college student; however, here taxi rides (when shared with others) cost about the equivalent of about a dollar. But after about a hundred taxi rides to and from EVERYWHERE, they lose their appeal and become more cumbersome than exciting.

So besides the taxi there's also the sky-train and the subway (which I coincidentally took today too) -- the BTS and MRT, respectively. They are very clean and efficient, albeit a bit more expensive per person, but they definitely get you where you need to go in a fraction of the time. If I lived downtown (or close to it), I probably would use the BTS almost exclusively. It's the best way to avoid traffic, which I hate.

And of course there's the river taxis......it's just like it sounds -- a boat that provides transportation up and down the river. However, I must say that this is more like a river bus instead of a taxi. These boats can fit about a hundred people and it costs about 16 baht-ish. I took these when I went to the Grand Palace. It required going from taxi to BTS to river taxi, but eventually, I made it to the Palace (with much walking too!). I've only taken these to and from the the Palace (which I seriously doubt I'll be going back to anytime soon), so I think that'll be the last time on the river for a while.

Regular buses have become a frequent way of travel for me out in Bang Na. I usually take it a couple times a week at least. Mondays are Thai lesson days, so we usually hop on the 48 or 46 and ride down the dusty road to the YWAM about 15 minutes away, depending on traffic. And now that I know how 'quick' and cheap it is to take the bus, I take it to the mall. A lot. 8 baht goes a long way here.

But finally, against everything expats have been saying, I took a motorcycle taxi. The motorcycle taxi that people filled my mind for two weeks with morbid accidents and bodies being dragged down the highway or hands being clipped off by a passing semi. Yes, I took one of these. After a horrendous regular taxi ride that should have only cost me 45 baht since it was five minutes down the road, ended up costing me 120 baht and the guy didn't even drop me off at my destination because he had no idea where I wanted to go. Yup, he stopped and asked for directions twice -- by the second time, I got out and sat at the bus stop helplessly. Thank goodness for the moto-taxi driver chillin out there, otherwise I would have been screwed. I asked him if he knew where Bang Na Villa was, hopped on the back of his bike and we were off. Against 6 lanes of traffic. On the highway. He was surprisingly a very careful and gentle driver though, and took it easy on the rough parts. It totally wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be, and I was thrilled to have gotten over my fear. I look forward to my next encounter. :)

Now that I've taken every mode of transportation available in Bangkok, I feel like a real Thai. I made sure to look like a pro on the back of the bike -- cool shades, Thai purse, and Thai sandals -- yup, I had it all figured out.

And Poof -- I have a ready-made boyfriend.

Who knew it would be this easy.

I'd like to say right now that I absolutely love my students. They are the bomb. Asian kids kick American kids butt. No lie.

Every day is a new experience, a new memory, a new cultural moment.
I wish I remembered all of them, because, let's face it -- every single day I have a story to tell the girls after classes and soccer -- so there's no way to record all of them. Here's just a snapshot of a typical class period (I say 'typical' simply because something odd always comes up).


But I have a confession to make: I have a boyfriend.

I didn't know I had a boyfriend before that class came in for 5th period last week, but now apparently I am in a long-distance relationship with a buff, rich guy back in the States. They haven't figured out how we met yet, but we've been dating for two years and he's rich enough to buy me expensive jewelry (I just so happen to be wearing bling on my left ring finger).

They've established that he's buff because they think he might come over to visit me and beat them up if I tell him that the class has been giving me a hard time. Since last Friday, they've been asking me about him daily and want to see a picture of him. Since he doesn't exist, I really have nothing to show for our long, passionate relationship. Maybe he's not that photogenic...?

I'm trying to avoid the subject completely. It hasn't worked out so well for me. But let me start at the beginning.....

We were talking about journalism, and how as reporters we should use 'question words' as a way to organize our information before we write the article (if you don't know what they are, they're the 5 Ws and the H). One boy makes some smart alec remark, so I asked him if that's what he said to get a girl to go out with him. I was just giving him a hard time because they're 8th graders, and they shouldn't have girlfriend at this point. He ducked his head and mumbled that he didn't have a girlfriend (as I suspected). Well the class totally turned it on me, and asked if I have a boyfriend. Instead of immediately answering 'no' and moving on, I paused, and for some reason blushed. I don't have a boyfriend. Not here, not in the States, not anywhere around the world (ahem: now accepting applications for the position) JOKES. So there was absolutely no reason for me to blush.....and yet I couldn't stop smiling and stumbling over my words.

Of course this only fueled the kids more into believing that I really did have a beau back home and didn't want to talk about it. This started the barrage of questions in which the class innocently stated that they were just using the tools I taught them -- employing the 5 Ws and the H -- in order to get the big picture behind my supposed love life. I side-stepped most questions, preferring to let them reach their own conclusions by my silence or refusal to deny their assumptions. Still, my blushing continued. (Maybe because I secretly wanted to believe I had someone back home who cared for me in the romantic sense, and if these kids believed it, maybe I could as well).

Through the questions being thrown at me from all over the class room, and with my very vague and weak replies, they came to the conclusion that I do indeed have a boyfriend, we've been dating for 2 years, I met him in the States, and he is wealthy enough to buy me an expensive silver and diamond ring (since I was wearing one at the time on my left ring finger) that did NOT come with a marriage proposal.

Since I mentioned earlier that day that day that I am a good teacher and don't beat my students, they're afraid now that when my 'boyfriend' comes to visit, he'll do the beating for me. Now if my students were horrible little brats, that wouldn't be such a bad idea, but these kids are a dream compared to some of the students I dealt with back home. Rest assured, the beating of children will not take place on my watch. But I guess my boyfriend is the strong, muscular type. :) I am totally okay with that.

"So why did he pick you?" One boy piped up in the midst of the questions.
Ouch. Don't rain on my parade so soon. This man is barely in existence, don't take him away from me already. "What do you mean, why did he pick me?"
"No, no, I didn't mean it like that!" He apologized after the class swelled with side comments. "I mean, why did he choose to date you out of all the women."
"You're not making it sound any better, Bob. You're making it sound like there is no reason why a man would want to date me."
"Ugh, I don't mean it like that either." He hid his face in his backpack on the desk.
I knew what he meant and laughed, as poorly-worded as it was. "I don't know. I never asked him. Maybe you can ask him that question sometime."
"Is he coming here?" Another boy asked.
"I don't know." How should I know?? I don't even know who this guy is.
"Maybe you should ask him to come. If you've been dating for two years, why won't he visit you?"


Yes, they really asked these questions.

But now my lovely little reporters are demanding pictures and a name. My other class also thought I had a boyfriend and that his name was "Ben" -- don't ask me where they came up with this. However, this class was not as interested in delving into my personal make-believe life. However, I am perfectly fine with having a boyfriend named Ben since I don't know any Ben's that would taint the name for me. Unfortunately, I have no pictures of this dream-boat.




*Note: names have been changed to protect the identity of my students and to ensure I won't get sued by the school or their parents.