Who knew it would be this easy.
I'd like to say right now that I absolutely love my students. They are the bomb. Asian kids kick American kids butt. No lie.
Every day is a new experience, a new memory, a new cultural moment.
I wish I remembered all of them, because, let's face it -- every single day I have a story to tell the girls after classes and soccer -- so there's no way to record all of them. Here's just a snapshot of a typical class period (I say 'typical' simply because something odd always comes up).
But I have a confession to make: I have a boyfriend.
I didn't know I had a boyfriend before that class came in for 5th period last week, but now apparently I am in a long-distance relationship with a buff, rich guy back in the States. They haven't figured out how we met yet, but we've been dating for two years and he's rich enough to buy me expensive jewelry (I just so happen to be wearing bling on my left ring finger).
They've established that he's buff because they think he might come over to visit me and beat them up if I tell him that the class has been giving me a hard time. Since last Friday, they've been asking me about him daily and want to see a picture of him. Since he doesn't exist, I really have nothing to show for our long, passionate relationship. Maybe he's not that photogenic...?
I'm trying to avoid the subject completely. It hasn't worked out so well for me. But let me start at the beginning.....
We were talking about journalism, and how as reporters we should use 'question words' as a way to organize our information before we write the article (if you don't know what they are, they're the 5 Ws and the H). One boy makes some smart alec remark, so I asked him if that's what he said to get a girl to go out with him. I was just giving him a hard time because they're 8th graders, and they shouldn't have girlfriend at this point. He ducked his head and mumbled that he didn't have a girlfriend (as I suspected). Well the class totally turned it on me, and asked if I have a boyfriend. Instead of immediately answering 'no' and moving on, I paused, and for some reason blushed. I don't have a boyfriend. Not here, not in the States, not anywhere around the world (ahem: now accepting applications for the position) JOKES. So there was absolutely no reason for me to blush.....and yet I couldn't stop smiling and stumbling over my words.
Of course this only fueled the kids more into believing that I really did have a beau back home and didn't want to talk about it. This started the barrage of questions in which the class innocently stated that they were just using the tools I taught them -- employing the 5 Ws and the H -- in order to get the big picture behind my supposed love life. I side-stepped most questions, preferring to let them reach their own conclusions by my silence or refusal to deny their assumptions. Still, my blushing continued. (Maybe because I secretly wanted to believe I had someone back home who cared for me in the romantic sense, and if these kids believed it, maybe I could as well).
Through the questions being thrown at me from all over the class room, and with my very vague and weak replies, they came to the conclusion that I do indeed have a boyfriend, we've been dating for 2 years, I met him in the States, and he is wealthy enough to buy me an expensive silver and diamond ring (since I was wearing one at the time on my left ring finger) that did NOT come with a marriage proposal.
Since I mentioned earlier that day that day that I am a good teacher and don't beat my students, they're afraid now that when my 'boyfriend' comes to visit, he'll do the beating for me. Now if my students were horrible little brats, that wouldn't be such a bad idea, but these kids are a dream compared to some of the students I dealt with back home. Rest assured, the beating of children will not take place on my watch. But I guess my boyfriend is the strong, muscular type. :) I am totally okay with that.
"So why did he pick you?" One boy piped up in the midst of the questions.
Ouch. Don't rain on my parade so soon. This man is barely in existence, don't take him away from me already. "What do you mean, why did he pick me?"
"No, no, I didn't mean it like that!" He apologized after the class swelled with side comments. "I mean, why did he choose to date you out of all the women."
"You're not making it sound any better, Bob. You're making it sound like there is no reason why a man would want to date me."
"Ugh, I don't mean it like that either." He hid his face in his backpack on the desk.
I knew what he meant and laughed, as poorly-worded as it was. "I don't know. I never asked him. Maybe you can ask him that question sometime."
"Is he coming here?" Another boy asked.
"I don't know." How should I know?? I don't even know who this guy is.
"Maybe you should ask him to come. If you've been dating for two years, why won't he visit you?"
Yes, they really asked these questions.
But now my lovely little reporters are demanding pictures and a name. My other class also thought I had a boyfriend and that his name was "Ben" -- don't ask me where they came up with this. However, this class was not as interested in delving into my personal make-believe life. However, I am perfectly fine with having a boyfriend named Ben since I don't know any Ben's that would taint the name for me. Unfortunately, I have no pictures of this dream-boat.
*Note: names have been changed to protect the identity of my students and to ensure I won't get sued by the school or their parents.
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